Thirty Days of Poems: Dolorosa (Day 4)

          039_3888x2592_all-free-download.com_18102988  I went to a wedding today

            the second I’ve attended since

            you got married.

            You would have loved the venue:

            a small stone chapel

            almost like a cottage

            in the woods

            with a high Gothic ceiling

            and a stained-glass portrait

            of the via dolorosa

            hanging just over the altar.


            And the ceremony

            may have been more high church

            than what we were used to

            growing up in Texas

            but the bride processed in

            to some Elvish-sounding music

            and after the exchange of vows

            we all had communion

            and the newlyweds came in together

            bearing the grail and bread.


            The whole first year after

            when I heard about a friend’s engagement

            my immediate reaction

            was to try and stop it.

            It was silly of me, I know:

            not every walk down the aisle

            has a cross at its end.

            And over time

            I got better, or

            learned how to fake it.


            But today

            when the priest said,

            “Speak now, or forever hold your peace”

            it was hard not to think of that moment

            in your wedding

            and the silence where

            no one spoke.


           And when the bride and groom

           pledged their fidelity to one another

           in sickness and in health

           to have and to hold

           from this day forward

           I thought of you and him

           the vows he made to you that day

          flanked by the groomsmen

          with whom he had already

          betrayed them.


          One day

          a few years from now

          I’ll have my own ceremony.

          And with laughter and communion

          my friends will escort me

          into a new realm of life.

          But even amid the celebration

         there will be a quiet ache

         dull but persistent

         because of the empty space

         where you should have been

         and the marriage you never had.


7 thoughts on “Thirty Days of Poems: Dolorosa (Day 4)

  1. Pingback: Bloggerhood Etc. 6/9/14 | Fatherhood Etc.

  2. I think of Bethany often – her voice, although I never physically heard it, is still in my head. This beautiful poem sung from your heart puts me right into that ceremony. And I’m still aghast at all that transpired and how it ended.

  3. Boze, this brings tears to my eyes. I have flashbacks every time I’m at a wedding, and actually I was thinking about writing a poem about weddings, too. Weird. But I’m glad I’m not the only one that has this strange reaction to stuff. And yes, I’m a lot better, but I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forget when the honor of weddings was tarnished.

    • Yes, I was kind of surprised by how triggering the wedding was. I can’t remember being that affected by the last wedding I attended. Even during the reception I found myself wanting to go somewhere and hide and maybe cry a little. So I came home and wrote this poem, and kept meaning to share it on Facebook but never did, because it’s just so sad.

      Anyway, you should still write your poem. I would really love to read it.

  4. Pingback: La triste historia de Bethany Deaton: IV – Adiós preciosa Bethany | Intentando ser un buen cristiano... intentando

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