Learning how to grieve has been a strange experience. I have so many questions. Where do people go when they die? Do they sleep until the last judgment? Will we all wake at the same time?
Can she see us? Is she close to us? These are things I still don’t know. Continue reading →
Today was the first day of this year that actually felt like fall. Like October.
It was a windy day, cool and dark. Half the leaves on our trees are still green, but the other half have already died, and there are brown patches in the yard where the grass is dying. There was no sun. The clouds were a strange color: not quite gray and not quite blue, but somehow both.
This time of year always produces conflicted feelings. So many bad things seem to happen in October and November, and the whole world is graying and mournful. Appropriate, I guess; elegant in its own way; yet also terrible and bleak and unutterably sad.
But it isn’t evil. It feels right, somehow. Right for this time of year. Continue reading →